Rear-View Mirror

Its a Tuesday June 9, 2009. Im sitting on my couch at home and im thinking. What should I do? AH! I have a marvelous idea. EXPRESS MYSELF (by typing). Hahahah...Here it goes. Through the years of my life, I have grown as an individual. I use to be a dude who had no self-respect, nor respect for others. I was, "headed in the WRONG direction". Like my mom use to say. You pretty much get the picture. I smoked, I drank, I robbed, I faught, I hated, Got locked up, I hurt, disobeyed. BUT, haha, heres the good part; I sat at my computer desk one special day-And realized...running beside these years, i've caused a lot of stress and disappointment. I've let a lot of my people down. Along with that, i've embarassed my family, my culture, and most of all myself. This experience wasnt just something that lasted for a few months, or a year. The mess was going on since a VERY early age. But God gave me the ability to realize, that it was time for a change. I know that sounds funny because of us black folks constantly talking about Barack Obama. Haha. But I mean, this was the most important and the smartest decision I could ever make. I told myself, I needed to stop this shit. It was getting old. I wanted to live a different life. It was still my life, but I was eager to make major adjustments. I attended church. Even before this beautiful moment. But I never really listened. After this realization occurred, I thought to myself, "Its time to present this to the church, and EXPRESS MYSELF to them. They'll understand". So the following Sunday, I let it be known. No holds barred. I wanted to change and I believe God gave me such a gift that I could show off. From that day on..I saw the world as a different place. Yeah...It was hard and tempting at times. A lot of times at that. But a wise man, can say no to temptation and take part in something beneficial. I let my homies know what was going on, and surprisingly, they didnt understand where I was coming from. They wanted me to, continue to follow. Instead of lead. Either that, or they didn't want me to stand out. If they understood or not, nothing was stopping this seed from sprouting. I was "A changed man". Niggas thought I was weird. Thats good though. I was weird because I was something they weren't use to. I was different. And thats EXACTLY, what I was aiming for. Look at me now, enjoying Life. Climbing out of that hole allowed me to learn to show life much appreciation. I learned and experienced a lot of things from which I also learned. Those/these experiences are creating a man. Thank You God. My family can now worry less. I can save them from their stress. I must say, I am truly blessed. Me getting away from following, allowed me to do what I loved. Not what was cool. (TO BE CONTINUED)